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| THEME: "Your heart has been made to love" Francisco Palau Eight day Retreat March 16-25, 2012 Retreat Accompaniment: Sr. Loida Tortogo, cm Blessed Daniela Kiosk |
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| Your heart has been made to love To love Him alone You have been untied with Him in faith, hope and love. |
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| Lord you showed me the life a wonderful gift of you A gift united to all Creation You poured on me your spirit it flamed within me The spirit of love and communion Desires to offer oneself an oblation to You. You have fired my heart to love You and Your Church How beautiful O Lord, You are! How infinite and grcious are you? How lovely, how sweet, I love you My God, my Beloved one. You who have graced me to love flamed by your spirit within to love and serve to share and to give Oh how I love you Lord That I desire and long for you To you alone I will give my life To you alone I will give this life. My heart was enflamed to love fired by your spirit And enliven me to act and spread my hands To offer with you my God Thanks to you, Father our Creator Thanks to you, Jesus, the only Begotten Son And thanks to you, O Holy Spirit, the inspirer Thanks to you, O Most Holy Trinity All praise and thanks to you O Lord, my God You who have poured your grace upon me Moved me to give my life One life in union to all creation One Spirit for a zeal on Mission One gift of you to me. Sr. Christine, cm |
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“Are
you ready to die?” I remembered this
question asked by a priest addressed to our newly accepted postulants, and
everyone just smiled. But if that
question will be thrown to me today after my eight day retreat with Sr. Loida,
for sure I will say, “Yes, I do am ready to die!” in teary eyes.
Last
night, I struggled with words in how to put this all into writing. The experience is so much that it can never
be contained in this piece of paper but because I do feel so renewed in
poverty, chastity and obedience- so I did.
I
think I didn’t do anything during this retreat, I just dived and dived- a
plunge into this image which God gave me at which at first I didn’t
understand. That has always been my
refrain, “I don’t understand!” and trying to understand it made the answers
even harder to find. In all thise
plunges I had these eight days of retreat, there was this very significant
plunge, a plunge to an 1800 km depth waters, and it was indeed a total
darkness. The more I tried to see, the
more it became darker, the more I tried to feel the warmth of life, the more it
became colder and lifeless- all was darkness.
I
remembered when I prayed, “If ever my life would be more comfortable if I would
enter religious life, I would rather not continue.” And God gave this to me
just as I prayed for here in Missionary Carmel, he took the “I am” that I
had. In doing this, I was in total
darkness- the only treasure I thought I had.
In
that plunge to darkness, though everything in me seemed dead - I saw that I was
not dead at all. My heart was so alive and I also discovered it wasn’t so cold
and dark, and lifeless – there was indeed peace, serenity and warmth… And I
paused and said, “I AM HERE…” and I heard God echoed, “I AM HERE…” My experience of surrender, of letting go…
“I AM HERE…” and God’s words of assurance, of affirmation, “I AM HERE…” met and
found its fusion- an experience I so do not deserve.
Sr. Roxan, cm
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